If you are in a happy and loving relationship, you might expect to dream about your wonderful partner often as an expression of how you feel about them – and you might also worry if that doesn’t happen.
However, it’s nothing unusual or anything to worry about, and for anyone experiencing similar feelings, in this post, we explain why as we answer the question, what does it mean when you never dream about your partner?
What Does It Mean When You Never Dream About Your Partner?
Before we talk about the meaning of dreaming about your partner – and what it means if you never dream about them – we need to start by saying a few words about dream interpretation in general to help us understand what’s going on.
When we dream, the images we see can bring us important messages from our subconscious minds, but those images should rarely be interpreted literally – rather, what we see in our dreams is metaphorical or symbolic.
Furthermore, the underlying meaning of what we see is also highly subjective, so the interpretation of a dream depends just as much on how the dreamer perceives what they dreamed about as the various elements of the dream themselves.
An example of this could be dreaming of a dog. The meaning of such a dream would be completely different depending on whether the dreamer was a dog lover or someone who is afraid of dogs.
The context is important too
In addition, the context of a dream is also important, and to correctly interpret a dream, you need to consider things like what you saw in the dream, what was happening, how you felt about it and how this might relate to your current life situation.
To understand this, we can go back to our example of the dog. Was it a friendly dog? Was it growling or attacking? Did you pet it? Were you afraid of it? Was it chasing you? Different aspects of the dream like these can all have a large impact on how we interpret the dream.
What all this means is, even if you dream of your partner, the interpretation of your dream is likely to be symbolic rather than literal, and a dream about your partner is unlikely to be quite what it seems.
As a result, even if you are very happy with your partner and are deeply in love, you shouldn’t expect to have frequent dreams about them any more than you should expect to dream about eating ice cream every night just because ice cream happens to be your favorite food.
What do we usually dream about?
So if we don’t dream about things that make us happy, what do we usually dream about?
People have been trying to understand dreams for as long as people have been dreaming, and the fact is, science still doesn’t even know for sure why we dream.
However, many people believe that our dreams serve to pass on important messages from our unconscious minds, helping us realize or understand things that we aren’t fully aware of on a conscious level.
In this way, the our dreams can bring things to our attention that we need to know about, and the messages we receive are often related to our concerns, worries, stresses, anxieties or preoccupations.
Since we usually dream about things that are on our mind, if you are worried about an upcoming exam or job interview, your anxieties about the event are likely to manifest themselves in your dreams.
However, that doesn’t mean these anxieties will appear in your dream literally as exams or job interviews but rather in other metaphorical and seemingly unconnected ways.
What this means in the context of dreams about your partner is that if they appear in your dreams, it is more likely to represent underlying worries or concerns about them or your relationship rather than representing happiness, love or security.
On the other hand, if you dream about your partner, it could just as easily symbolize something completely different, and the true meaning of the dream might not be related to your partner at all.
Dreaming about your partner at the start of your relationship
From what we’ve said so far, it would seem logical that it’s more normal to dream about your partner at the beginning of a relationship.
This is because at the start, your emotions and your passions are likely to be at their strongest, and your new love is likely to occupy a large proportion of your thoughts.
At the same time, along with the wonderful feeling of falling in love, there might also be some insecurity mixed in.
You may fear losing the person, or you may be worried that they will turn out to be less perfect than they seem – or you might worry they will cheat on you or hurt you, and your dream may be related to these fears.
If you do dream about them, the dreams might also seem strange and unexpected. Rather than being dreams of spending happy – or “romantic” – moments with your partner, the dreams might take on bizarre themes, with your partner appearing in odd situations.
All this means, though, is that your new partner has become an important part of your life, that they’re on your mind and that you are processing the new emotions involved in a healthy and normal way.
Although if your partner doesn’t appear in your dreams at this stage, it’s also nothing to worry about – because you could just as easily be processing your emotions through other dreams where your partner is being represented by other symbolic elements.
Why you stop dreaming about your partner
After you have been together with your partner for a while, even if you dreamed about them often before, you may then find yourself dreaming about them less – or perhaps even not at all – but is this anything to worry about?
In a word, no, it’s not.
As we’ve said, it’s normal to dream about your partner when the relationship is new because you are experiencing all kinds of new emotions, and you are likely to be thinking about that person a lot.
At the same time, the dreams that you have may also be driven by certain insecurities and fears.
So, far from being anything to worry about – like a sign that your passions have cooled and you don’t love that person anymore – not dreaming about them could tell you that you now feel comfortable and secure with them, and you’re no longer so worried about negative things.
This means you may be more relaxed about this person remaining faithful to you, their presence may have become more normal to you and your relationship has moved to a new phase.
Rather than meaning you don’t love them anymore, this can be taken to mean that everything is going well, you are now more confident in your relationship and you trust your partner more than before.
As we said, you shouldn’t expect to have dreams about your partner every night to confirm how happy and in love you are – because that’s not how dreams work.
On the contrary, if you continue to dream about your partner, it could tell you that you still feel insecure in your relationship and haven’t yet learned to trust them fully – or that your partner appearing in your dreams represents some other unrelated concern that you have in your life.
Other dreams that could be about your partner
Just as a dream about your partner might not be about your partner at all, it’s also possible that other dreams you have that don’t feature your partner might actually be about your partner.
For example, at the beginning of a new relationship, many people report having dreams about previous partners, but if you have a dream like this, it doesn’t mean you miss your ex and want to get back together with them.
The correct interpretation of such a dream can depend on the nature of the relationship you had with your ex and how you split up, but, for example, if they hurt you, it could be an expression of your fear of being hurt again now that you are opening up to somebody new.
Alternatively, it could be a sign that you have finally processed the emotions you went through at the end of your relationship with your ex, and now you feel happy and confident enough to move on and find somebody new.
Of course, the precise interpretation of such a dream depends on your personal situation as well as what happened in the dream.
However, dreams like this at the start of a new relationship – or many other seemingly unrelated dreams you have at any other point of your relationship with your current partner – may actually be dreams about your partner without your partner ever appearing in the dream.
Dreams about your partner are rarely what they seem
As we’ve seen, just because you’re happy and comfortable in your relationship with your partner, it doesn’t mean you should expect to dream of them every night – or even ever.
It’s hard to predict what we are likely to dream about, and our dreams should rarely be interpreted literally. This means that dreaming – or not dreaming – about your partner might not be related to your feelings for your partner at all.